For the better part of seven years, I carried in my heart the dream of another daughter. Somewhere in the deepest part of my being, I was convicted of this need to mother another little soul. There were days this dream of mine seemed just that. And a few times I nearly gave up on the whole thing.
But God. Each time I fell on my face, He lifted me up. He reminded me to trust Him. Along the way, He whispered a name for her. He broke my heart for hers. He encouraged me to persevere. Over and over, He asked me to wait. For years, she existed in my imagination. Occasionally, I doubted if she really existed. But He knew.
And in His perfect timing, when I least expected it, He revealed the most beautiful reflection of His plan. All of sudden, this past December, I was clicking a button on my computer to open her file, and there she was. A little face staring back at me. I quickly scoured the details of her file, and there it was. Amidst my doubts that this could finally be happening, God blessed me with the knowledge she was our Mary-Kate, almost instantly.
Those details are an important part of the story, yes, but they can wait. What I am compelled to marvel in this announcement of her addition to our family is so much the bigger picture, both literally and figuratively.
A few years ago, I shared my thoughts after coming across this photo taken by Mary Beth Chapman during an orphanage visit in the summer of 2007. I was so captivated by this sweet baby’s face and Mary Beth’s words. She wrote,
“This little girl sat quietly in her bed.
The number beside her is 055. She is a number.”
But He knows her name. God knows the name of every orphan. And He’s known the name of our delicate little Mary-Kate since before time began. He formed her heart to be perfectly imperfect, knowing it would be what brought her to us. On February 3, 2013, this baby girl who would be ours was born on the other side of the world. Abandoned just two days later, she was given a name by an orphanage worker. More significantly, she became a number, one of millions of orphans.
I have no explanation for the timing of God’s plans for her or for any other orphan. I can only trust that what He says is true, that He has a purpose. He works all things together for that purpose. For the good of those who love Him. This little one’s story has been always been a part of ours, and He lovingly chose the day He would share it with us, to finally put a name and a face with the dream I've contemplated for years. Soon, she will no longer be a number. She will be given our name as a part of hers and will forever be a part of our family. And I am forever grateful He’s known all along.
"...rejoice that your names are written in heaven."